Saturday, April 19, 2014
Angela's journey
Angela was young and beautiful, in a world that did not see her for who she truly was. She wandered through the days as if she did not have something important waiting for her; destiny. Every day dragged on for as she found herself digging a deeper hole, trying to hide behind books and excuses instead of allowing people into her life, because of her fear of rejection. To Angela, it was better to choose rejection instead of experience it. She wanted to be in control of how people saw her, and she settled for invisible. She had so much to offer, her kindness and gentle nature was a gift that she never appreciated or used to benefit those around her. After years of destitution, she found herself in the middle of a car accident. She was driving home from school, it was a rougher day than usual, where she couldn't find sanctuary behind her books, and she felt the pang of her classmates judgement. She hadn't noticed in a long time how they saw her, a reclusive antisocial loner. The first time she ever bothered to look up, the world looked so dismal. On her way home, she let go of her grip on life, she felt the car swerving out of her control, and the beaming headlights casting on her face. She thought she was ready. She thought that this was the moment she would be set free. A honk was the last thing she heard before the lights went out. Hours passed expendably to the rest of the world, but these couple hours were the defining moment of Angela's life. She was weightless, her body no longer holding her back, but she was not free, she was still watching the world from where she left it. Her parents were keeled over in the waiting room chairs, shaking with sobs that were uncontrollably terrorizing their bodies. The room where her body lay was lit with florescent lighting that made her seem lifeless, frozen almost. She heard a voice coming from behind her; it was a man's voice.
"Why can't you see? Why do you not realize that you are beautiful." The man's voice did not cast a body, but was appearing from thin air.
"Why am I here? I thought it would all be over! I thought that I could finally disappear..." Her voice was trembling with tears choked back.
"You are not ready. You're part of something bigger than yourself. I want you to take back the life you lost, and use it for something that will change lives, because you, my dear, are not expendable, you my dear, you are loved, and you have something to offer, if you would let yourself be loved." With a shaky breath, the weight of her body pulled her into the bed, and once again, an inescapable darkness consumed her vision. Three days later, she awoke will tears on her face. They weren't her's. Surrounding her were the faces of classmates, family members and strangers. Her head was dizzy and her vision slightly blurred, but she could still make out those around her if she squinted. Her heart filled with warmth as she saw the smiles welcoming her back, feeling for the first time since she could remember, that she was not invisible. I would love to say that after her recovery, she became a new person who appreciated life and made friends and let love in. Yes, over time this did happen, but she was weary of change and faced obstacles on her way to finding herself, and loving who she was. She struggled with depression for a long time, but this time she knew she was stronger. She had the support and help of her parents, and through her experience, she could relate to others with similar experiences, and found comfort knowing that she was not alone. She found Jesus on a Wednesday night when one of her friends took her to youth group and at that moment she realized who she had talked to during her out of body experience; Jesus. She started giving her testimony at services in all parts of the country, giving talks to young teens about depression, and about the value of life. Our life is not our own, and if we treat it that way, we will find all our efforts to be fleeting. Our mission while we are here on Earth is to make a difference, to touch as many hearts as we can, to love as many people that we come across, and to serve a higher purpose, the one that God inspires us to pursue.
"Why can't you see? Why do you not realize that you are beautiful." The man's voice did not cast a body, but was appearing from thin air.
"Why am I here? I thought it would all be over! I thought that I could finally disappear..." Her voice was trembling with tears choked back.
"You are not ready. You're part of something bigger than yourself. I want you to take back the life you lost, and use it for something that will change lives, because you, my dear, are not expendable, you my dear, you are loved, and you have something to offer, if you would let yourself be loved." With a shaky breath, the weight of her body pulled her into the bed, and once again, an inescapable darkness consumed her vision. Three days later, she awoke will tears on her face. They weren't her's. Surrounding her were the faces of classmates, family members and strangers. Her head was dizzy and her vision slightly blurred, but she could still make out those around her if she squinted. Her heart filled with warmth as she saw the smiles welcoming her back, feeling for the first time since she could remember, that she was not invisible. I would love to say that after her recovery, she became a new person who appreciated life and made friends and let love in. Yes, over time this did happen, but she was weary of change and faced obstacles on her way to finding herself, and loving who she was. She struggled with depression for a long time, but this time she knew she was stronger. She had the support and help of her parents, and through her experience, she could relate to others with similar experiences, and found comfort knowing that she was not alone. She found Jesus on a Wednesday night when one of her friends took her to youth group and at that moment she realized who she had talked to during her out of body experience; Jesus. She started giving her testimony at services in all parts of the country, giving talks to young teens about depression, and about the value of life. Our life is not our own, and if we treat it that way, we will find all our efforts to be fleeting. Our mission while we are here on Earth is to make a difference, to touch as many hearts as we can, to love as many people that we come across, and to serve a higher purpose, the one that God inspires us to pursue.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
held in your arms
Innocence holds us in her arms
Up high above the world
A shadow is casted on all the harms
So we will only see the clouds
Her embrace begins to suffocate us
Break free of her grasp and feel the ground
The world is reborn through our new eyes
But the clouds are gone.
Cold and dark, it waits to strike
The hurt, the pain and all the suffering
Waiting there, He's been waiting for me.
She watches me drift away from her
Carried away like a distant memory
With her she took our dreams
She stole our invincibility
And returned us with harsh reality
Up high above the world
A shadow is casted on all the harms
So we will only see the clouds
Her embrace begins to suffocate us
Break free of her grasp and feel the ground
The world is reborn through our new eyes
But the clouds are gone.
Cold and dark, it waits to strike
The hurt, the pain and all the suffering
Waiting there, He's been waiting for me.
She watches me drift away from her
Carried away like a distant memory
With her she took our dreams
She stole our invincibility
And returned us with harsh reality
Saturday, January 18, 2014
animal identities
The best way to get to know someone is to ask them simple questions, but really dig into their answers. I am conducting a study to see if you can generally understand a person by their answer to the question,"if you were an animal, what animal would you be?"
This question is very basic on the surface, something that we have all had some kind of discussion over with friends or colleagues as a joking matter. However, subconsciously, I believe that there is a deeper reasoning behind the answer to this question. Also, I am hypothesizing that there is a direct correlation to an individual's self esteem and the answer of this question.
After asking some of my coworkers this question, I have noticed a pattern to their responses; they will either answer with a common animal, or they will come up with an exotic animal. After I asked each person, "Why do you feel you are a ____?" I am always suprised by their reason behind it.
One of my coworkers answered, "I would be a black panther, because I am really sneaky, very independent, and kind of sexual". The answer may have been a little vague, but behind it you can annotate this response to pull out the more raw material: the person is a girl, so she chose a feline because it is the most commonly related animal to a woman, so the individual is very feminine and proud of it (true, she is in a sorority). Secondly, her acknowledgment of her 'sneaky' behavior indicates that she is more reserved and likes to assess the situation before she acts. Lastly, her last remark about her 'sexual' behavior not only supports the feminine aspect that controls her actions, but also her ability to use her sexual appeal to manipulate others around her, and understand the power that she has because of it. Like a cat, she desires to be feared and respected, but also adored for her natural beauty.
When I asked myself that question, I came to the conclusion that I am a chipmunk. Behind my answer is a self analysis waiting to be decoded, and here it is: I love to have people give me attention, but in away that is adoring, not undressing. I am innocent, and like to be alone, separated from the rest of the world at times, up in a "tree" is translated as lost in a book where I am left unbothered. So when you ask someone this question, it can be in a funny atmosphere, or serious, there are so many layers to each individual, and it is your job as a person to uncover the strangers around you for who they really are.
This question is very basic on the surface, something that we have all had some kind of discussion over with friends or colleagues as a joking matter. However, subconsciously, I believe that there is a deeper reasoning behind the answer to this question. Also, I am hypothesizing that there is a direct correlation to an individual's self esteem and the answer of this question.
After asking some of my coworkers this question, I have noticed a pattern to their responses; they will either answer with a common animal, or they will come up with an exotic animal. After I asked each person, "Why do you feel you are a ____?" I am always suprised by their reason behind it.
One of my coworkers answered, "I would be a black panther, because I am really sneaky, very independent, and kind of sexual". The answer may have been a little vague, but behind it you can annotate this response to pull out the more raw material: the person is a girl, so she chose a feline because it is the most commonly related animal to a woman, so the individual is very feminine and proud of it (true, she is in a sorority). Secondly, her acknowledgment of her 'sneaky' behavior indicates that she is more reserved and likes to assess the situation before she acts. Lastly, her last remark about her 'sexual' behavior not only supports the feminine aspect that controls her actions, but also her ability to use her sexual appeal to manipulate others around her, and understand the power that she has because of it. Like a cat, she desires to be feared and respected, but also adored for her natural beauty.
When I asked myself that question, I came to the conclusion that I am a chipmunk. Behind my answer is a self analysis waiting to be decoded, and here it is: I love to have people give me attention, but in away that is adoring, not undressing. I am innocent, and like to be alone, separated from the rest of the world at times, up in a "tree" is translated as lost in a book where I am left unbothered. So when you ask someone this question, it can be in a funny atmosphere, or serious, there are so many layers to each individual, and it is your job as a person to uncover the strangers around you for who they really are.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Review on Frozen
You know that a movie is amazing when you walk into the theatre, and the seats are full 2 months after its release date. I fell in love with the characters in the movie, "Frozen", after seeing it with my best friend and my cousin. Now I know what you all might be thinking, "That's a movie for children," "I don't like animated movies". Well, to all of responses I simply advocate that you give Frozen a chance.
Despite its appeal to younger generations, the movie does an admirable job relating to older audiences; there are several layers to the characters that portray the real pain that sisters Anna and Elsa both experience from opposite sides of the spectrum. While Anna lives a lonely life, ignored and casted away by her sister, she still holds onto the fond memory she shared with Elsa when they were children; the song "Do you want to build a snowman" was upbeat and on the surface shallow, but if you look deeper into the tone and emotion of the song, you can uncover the truth behind the lyrics. The only real memory Anna has with her sister is of building a snowman, and it may seem like a simple activity, but to Anna it represents her entire relationship with Elsa. Anna holds onto this for years, hoping that one day her sister and her can rebuild their relationship from the bottom up.
Elsa faces her own struggle in containing her "inner storm"; this struggle is not something she can hide forever, and her loose grip over control of her problem causes her to be exiled into the mountains, where ironically, she has never felt more free. Elsa's character has faced an entire life feeling like a threat to everyone she loves, as well as her own worst nightmare. Although it is not really clear if she is the antagonist in the story, I felt that she could have easily been the protagonist. Her part in the story was all about the theme: person vs. self. She was born with the gift of magic, until it grew into a curse, and it was up to her to get a grip on her abilities. I connected the most with her character because she is just like any other girl, (except for the whole ice powers thing), she just wanted to make her parents proud, and be the "good girl" she was always meant to be. All that pressure was soon to need release at some point, and who else can help tip the iceberg besides a sister? Am I right? Anna triggers Elsa's downfall, (although this is not a tragedy, and disney never fails when it comes to providing a happy ending), the animosity between the sisters can only be poetic for every relationship between siblings.
Overall, I believe this movie was one of Disney's finest, and I couldn't help but see it twice in theaters. I definitely recommend anyone of all ages and backgrounds to enjoy the film, definitely bring your family!
Despite its appeal to younger generations, the movie does an admirable job relating to older audiences; there are several layers to the characters that portray the real pain that sisters Anna and Elsa both experience from opposite sides of the spectrum. While Anna lives a lonely life, ignored and casted away by her sister, she still holds onto the fond memory she shared with Elsa when they were children; the song "Do you want to build a snowman" was upbeat and on the surface shallow, but if you look deeper into the tone and emotion of the song, you can uncover the truth behind the lyrics. The only real memory Anna has with her sister is of building a snowman, and it may seem like a simple activity, but to Anna it represents her entire relationship with Elsa. Anna holds onto this for years, hoping that one day her sister and her can rebuild their relationship from the bottom up.
Elsa faces her own struggle in containing her "inner storm"; this struggle is not something she can hide forever, and her loose grip over control of her problem causes her to be exiled into the mountains, where ironically, she has never felt more free. Elsa's character has faced an entire life feeling like a threat to everyone she loves, as well as her own worst nightmare. Although it is not really clear if she is the antagonist in the story, I felt that she could have easily been the protagonist. Her part in the story was all about the theme: person vs. self. She was born with the gift of magic, until it grew into a curse, and it was up to her to get a grip on her abilities. I connected the most with her character because she is just like any other girl, (except for the whole ice powers thing), she just wanted to make her parents proud, and be the "good girl" she was always meant to be. All that pressure was soon to need release at some point, and who else can help tip the iceberg besides a sister? Am I right? Anna triggers Elsa's downfall, (although this is not a tragedy, and disney never fails when it comes to providing a happy ending), the animosity between the sisters can only be poetic for every relationship between siblings.
Overall, I believe this movie was one of Disney's finest, and I couldn't help but see it twice in theaters. I definitely recommend anyone of all ages and backgrounds to enjoy the film, definitely bring your family!
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