Take the good with the bad

I want to talk about rejection.  There are a lot of people in this world that are ruled by their fear of being rejected, and rightfully so.  However, there are a lot of things that could be worse.  We are, by nature, drawn to others, wanting to be special to someone we find special.  It isn't a crime to find yourself obsessing over a person who you feel a connection to.  The worst part is thinking about that person, on end, every day and not even consciously, it's like they have infiltrated your subconscious and have planted a virus that takes over your hard drive.  The time spent on this person feels like years in a matter of days and this crazy feeling you get that makes you want to bring their name up at any opportunity, ya it sucks.  The giddiness, the gross happy feeling that flutters in your stomach when you see them in person, and you can't help but wonder, do they think about you as much as you think about them?  Of course they don't, but you want to think they do.  We have all been there, we have all hurt from people we trusted, from people we thought we could maybe one day bring home to the family, maybe see a future not to far into the distance.  But it isn't this person that you really are obsessing over, it is your obsession with being with A person.  The idea of having someone to hold you at night, to brush the tears from your cheeks, to tell you that this world doesn't see how beautiful you are, but I do.  It's this dream that ruins relationships because relationships aren't this easy, they are messy and fluctuate at the flip of a switch.  If you can find someone who makes you feel loved, and who sees you for what the world doesn't, honey hang on to them with all your might.  But the real topic is rejection.  There is nothing you can do about rejection, it happens without your consent and often disregarding who you are in general.  The only thing that you can control is yourself, and you are a person who can decide how to handle rejection.  There are two options: 1.) you can obsess, then ultimately blame yourself and hate the other person for making you feel this way or 2.) you can accept that the world is an imperfect place and sometimes you get hurt, but you will survive heartbreak, you will carry on and you will be a stronger and better person because of it.  Feeling strongly for a person and acting on it, that takes courage.  To put yourself out there in a situation that you could potentially be hurt is noble, you believe in something, something that was worth hurting for.  Often times, rejection pushes us into a shell that makes us feel alone and inadequate, but we are not alone and we are not inadequate, we are people searching for something to love that is greater than ourselves.  Who wants to live in a world with billions of people but find themselves only loving one?  Love and be loved, and never look back because the future is the only thing worth striving for.  

Wake up to write

The little things in life keep us going.  I find that sometimes, we lose track of where we are going, of what we are looking for, and of why we are pursuing this path.  I am eighteen years old, too young to make life altering decisions but too old to have decisions made for me.  This is the age for making mistakes and taking risks, risks that I will be too afraid to take when I'm older and never imagined taking a few months ago.  This first semester has taught me a lot about who I am, and who I want to be.    I find that the things that make me happy are the smallest tokens that the day brings me; finding a good song on Spotify, a smile from a stranger, the warmth that hides under my covers and the dreams that wait for me on my pillow.  Most of all, I appreciate the days that are different, the ones that stand out from the days that bleed together and the laughs that fall short and the assignments that take all night and the people whose names and faces blur into one.  A day that stands out, a day that is new and mine for the taking.  Today is all we have, and I am going to cherish every moment.

Little lies

To be in the world is to lie.  To lie about your mistakes and cover up your tracks.  To lie to your loved ones out of pride and fear.  To excuse your lies with lies to yourself-- they don't need to know, it's your responsibility, they'll never find out.  But to know Jesus is to be forgiven.  To know Jesus is to be honest and leave it all to him.  Don't be afraid, I am here.  To not fear is to have faith and those with little faith lie because the truth is deafening.

Accepting reality

I find my mind racing at 100 miles an hour at 1 in the morning.  I look out my window and see the city lights of Tempe, where I have willingly chose to live.  This place where I'm in, I am one of many, but find myself feeling like one of a kind.  I see the girls in there high wasted shorts and boutique blouses, and the boys who coast on long boards, but when I see my reflection in the windows as I pass by, I see nothing.  I don't know who I am, I don't have a clue where I'll be in five years and I think that's ok.  If I were to drop off the face of the earth tomoro and return from the underground that is know as the real world, I would not know these people.  I would know hardship and pain, but also realize that living in bliss is only damaging my strength and passion.  There is only one me, and only one you, so why should we try to be a part of the crowd, where inevitably we lose ourselves.  I want to be me, and I want to do it freely and without censors.  I do not want to compromise my beliefs, I will struggle, and I will fall but I will find myself in places I would never have chosen to venture if not for the detours.  I refuse to fall victim to my own short comings, but fall victim to the hearts of those open to me.  I will cry, I will fail and I will lose hope at times.  But finding my way out of the dark and dreary days will only be more satisfying than days of bliss.  I am not meant to live a happy life.  I am meant to try and fail, to overcome and to learn.  Happiness is not the result of success, it is the distraction that gets us through the day.  

The truth about freshman year ~ Part 1

There are many fears that incoming college freshman have as they embark onto their new journey to an unfamiliar place with more strangers than friends.  It can be overwhelming at first, but starting at a place where no one knows your name, or what social group you were a part of in high school, can be a relief. As an incoming college freshman I have a couple questions of my own.  In order to expose the truth behind many of the lingering questions and fears that myself and thousands of other freshman have, I gathered some answers from a couple of reliable sources at my disposal.  

My first interview was with Silvia, a theatre major at the University of Arizona.  Silvia was originally from Portland, Oregon, and in the turn of events, wound up in Tucson Arizona.   

"I moved my senior year of high school, which was a bitch *haha*, and then I wound up going to the U of A, despite all my efforts to get out of Arizona, but then I ended up loving it."  

Silvia had a year of cushioning, she made the transition of being uprooted from her comfort of her hometown a year before she would have to make the transition again in college.  At first, she experienced "a complete culture shock", trying to adapt to Tucson's climate and change of pace from Oregon.  She was prematurely thrown into the same situation she would later face when she became a freshman at the University.  Many students think that going to school in a different state is the answer to finding yourself, or completely cutting ties with the past.  Silvia explained to me that moving to a new city can be really hard, 

"You go through a period of depression for the first 6 months, and you can't really make an honest judgment until a year after you have lived there".  

To anyone reading this article who is venturing into the unknown and going out of state to school, you have to understand that it is completely normal to go through depression, and feeling out of place.  Give yourself some time before you condemn your new home, because you will find the light at the end of the tunnel, you will find friends who you fit in with and the culture will grow on you.  Just remember to have an open mind, and to keep a positive outlook.  If you are not going out of state, and you are worried that you aren't getting far enough away from home, don't get too hung up on it.   The only thing that can hold you back from finding yourself and moving on from the past, is you.  This is a fresh start, even if you are starting over in the same city you grew up in, don't use that as an excuse to hold you back from meeting new people and letting yourself try new things.    

One of her biggest pieces of advice is, 

"Make sure you communicate with your roommate".   

Communication is one of the most important traits to have in your relationship with your roommate, it instills a sense of trust and understanding, and this made Silvia's experience her freshman year an easier transition.  Silvia also accredited her successful experience to the fact that her roommate and her had conflicting schedules.

"The reason that we got along so well was because we had opposite schedules.  We were never really in the room at the same time so it felt like, more or less, you lived alone.  When you live with someone you get on each others' nerves..."   

It is very important to have space in your relationship with your roommate because you are already living is such close quarters.  Time apart from one another gives room to breathe.  It is also very important that if you and your roommate are not exactly best friends, to still be civil with one another.  It is definitely crucial to set up boundaries with your roommate on what you are comfortable with.  For example, I am completely uncomfortable with the thought of my future roommate bringing back guys to our room.  It is one thing if I am not there, but if there are guys sleeping over on weeknights, all hell will break loose!  (If you are reading this future dorm roommate, you have been warned!)  

A lot of freshman worry about "The Freshman Fifteen", well guess what... it's real, and inescapable.  This can not be pin pointed toward being lazy, or all the drinking that happens within the first couple months.  This is more commonly caused by the desire to socialize.  Eating out is a great way to hang out with friends and gaining weight is a group activity.  It is nothing to be ashamed of, but definitely be aware.  If you are very concerned with your body staying in shape, there are ways to trim the freshman fifteen to the freshman three or four.  

"There are healthy alternatives..."

A lot of schools offer meal plans that make it very difficult for the student to eat healthy.  Most student unions are made up of pizzerias and fast food vendors, leaving their consumers feeling groggy and gross afterwards.  It is a struggle to eat healthy, but after talking to Silvia, she explained that there are other options that, although inconvenient, are available.  The best example of a healthier alternative is buying groceries so you can cook in the public kitchens.  This may take more time and be more expensive than using your meal card, but it makes a difference in how your body feels after eating. 

A lot of incoming freshman are wondering, "Is it a good idea to have a job freshman year?  Is it too overwhelming?"  Having a job can be very beneficial, simply for the most obvious reasons: 1.) You will have extra spending money and 2.) You will learn the value of money.  Silvia recommends having a job to "Keep you more facile, it gets you more down to Earth...  It helps to give you the money to use for going out and hanging out with friends."  Having a job does not have to interfere with school work.  It is very easy to coordinate your schedule with your employer if you are honest from the beginning on how many shifts you can take on.  Don't overload your schedule with 4 shifts a week or else school has lost its slot as the main priority in your life.  It is a lot better manage 1-2 shifts a week, giving yourself time to socialize and keep up on your studies.  

Do you still have questions about freshman year?  Part two is on its way, touching the subjects such as dating in college, what kind of work load to expect, and hearing a guys point of view on these subjects.  

Rainy days

The only time Tucson really gets good rainfall is 3 weeks out of the year in July.  During these three weeks, the weather can falter between sunny and clear skies, to downpour that lasts off and on for hours at a time.  For a desert rat such as myself, this kind of habitual adjustment is very difficult.  In fact, if I can, I will avoid driving in the rain at all costs.  Despite the fact that I don't like being in the rain, rainy nights are the most beautiful moments, just listening to the drops on the roof and holding a warm cup of cocoa while watching the lightning flash across the sky.

Cruisin'

There is one way that my family chooses to vacation, and by vacation, I am defining the word-
Vacation: verb; to relax, and get away from the usual routine of daily life in typically an exotic destination (however type of destination is optional).
Now that technicalities are out of the way, my family chooses cruising as a way of vacationing.  This is for several reasons:
1.)  You can always be in a room that is air conditioned and never have to go outside (unless you choose to).
2.) There is a buffet for breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner.
3.) 3 course meals of 4 star dining (complimentary-already paid for).
4.) Trivia in the lounge
5.) Movies playing on the deck.
6.) Towel animals that wait for you on your bed until you arrive after dinner
7.) Napping (best sleep happens with the slight rocking of the boat against the waves).
8.) 24 hour ice cream and frozen yogurt.
9.) There is a gym, convenient if you don't want to come back from vacation with a stowaway in you clothes (10-15 pounds gained in a week).
10.) The people- there is never a sober soul on the ship over the age of 18, and no I do know the drinking age is 21;).  What good is a vacation surrounded by stuffy old farts, people go on a cruise to let loose with a drink in both hands and living out the fantasy of having a life at sea.  Well you know, while being pampered with the spa and everything else.  Room service is amazing as well...
If these ten reasons to choose cruising as your next vacation don't convince you, maybe you should rethink your definition of vacation.