You don't know what sorry is

There is no better way to say this so I am just going to say it like this: I'm sorry.  I am truly, overwhelmingly sorry about how things went.  I can't describe the pool of shame and regret that fills me at this moment.  I am sorry.  I am sorry for how we were, I am sorry for how we are.  I am sorry for the moments that we left speechless and the moments that we should have.  I am sorry.  I am drowning in the words, I cannot even explain.  I am sorry I love you, and I am even more sorry that I hate you, but at this point, the word, "sorry" doesn't even mean anything other than one (and a half) vowels and three consonants.  See, that is the point, directly hit on the nail: it is just a word.  Saying, "sorry" doesn't hold any value to me, it does not mean that things will change or that they have already, it does not mean that time will go back and I will pretend that everything is ok.  The word is nothing but an empty shell, decorated with tears and exaggerated sentiments.  To me, being "sorry" follows with actions that ask for forgiveness and work toward salvaging a relationship.  Please, the next time you say sorry, have more respect for that person to follow through with it.